Early Introduction to the Feminine Mystique

After a talk with daddy about never talking to women about their weight, Josh mistakenly told me that the lady driving the car next to us was very old.  I proceeded to inform him of his mistake.

"Josh, honey, you should never say a woman is old.  It isn't nice to talk about a woman's age."

A huge sigh, "How many rules are there for women?!"  Oh, babe.  If only you knew. 

Oh, he's a monkey alright

You know that song, "10 Little Monkeys?"  I've got one.  Tonight, he is leaning over the rail of his bed, standing up (probably jumping) and goes right over the top of it.  Ends up with a bloody nose, a fat lip and a grumpy mom because I was nursing the baby at the time and he was supposed to be in bed going to sleep.  God must have made three year olds cute so that they would live to be four.

Homeschool

Josh, age 8, told me today that school for him is like the Babylonian captivity of the Jews.  Gee, thanks hon.  Glad to be able to help you learn and grow.  :)  Sometimes it feels like that for me, too, though I didn't inform him of this fact. 

Fetch - not just for puppies

Seriously, Sam, the three year old, looked at the baby crawling on the floor, held her baby spoon aloft and called to her just like a puppy, "Here girl, here girl!" Then after getting her attention, proceeded to chuck the plastic spoon across the living room like a stick and proudly yelled, "Go get it girl!"  No.  My sweet baby girl is not going to be taught to play fetch.  Mama's putting her foot down on this one. 

Death by Flowers

We are learning the U.S. Presidents for our homeschool history.  Each day we go through them one by one, starting with Washington.  I require the kids to know the President's name and at least one relevant fact about that President.  Today Joe, the five year old, proudly informed me that William H. Harrison died in office.  "How did he die?" I asked him.  Without hesitation he answered, "Petunia." 

I am quick to respond because of course, I speak "child speak."  "Do you mean pneumonia?" 

"Um, yeah.  Pneumonia."

Petunia, pneumonia, whatever.  Better watch those flowers. 

The Three Foot Mystery

Can anyone explain to me why, when we have two stories of house to play in, my children insist on playing within three feet of each other, all the while complaining about the other ones touching them or generally just irritating each other to pieces.  S  P  R  E  A  D     O  U  T, for crying out loud. 

Guilt Trips

The three year old is really working it - now often when he gets disciplined he responds with a teary, "You broke my heart!"  How do they learn this so early?  Psychology major in the making?

Family Portraits

You know when your 8 year old draws a family picture and you have a cartoon bubble above your head that says, "Go to time out Joe!" that you have problems.  Seriously.